It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
