You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
