I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
