Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
