I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I currently don't understand fingers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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