I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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