"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
