youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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