He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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