he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
