it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize