jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
