I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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