Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize