Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
