I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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