I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
