She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
