I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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