I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
