Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

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(510): View more from California

The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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(847): View more from Illinois

cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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(714): View more from California

The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like

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(921): View more from

Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.

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