Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.