We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my being single is dangerous.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice