Plan B is the new Plan A
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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