Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i think my cat just said my name.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You don't make any sense
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