Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.