You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
