I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
