apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
