porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How external is "for external use only"?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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