Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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