id be glad to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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