whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize