Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
