There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
