I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
