I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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