Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
