man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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