I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
