do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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