I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
