am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
do nipples grow back?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize