Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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