Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize