Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
