Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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