rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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