So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
