I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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