There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
