I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
