the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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