i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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