Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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