Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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