this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
