So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
