He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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