You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
