I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals