vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.