were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!