That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs