all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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