Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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